Battling my inner demons…😬

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Hey y'all So I know I haven't been active lately and its because I have been struggling with a lot of inner demons that I thought I conquered a long time ago and for some reason they found their way to the surface again. I've been lost and very confused lately on my life purpose. I honestly feel like I don't have one. Its been very stressful and frustrating to say the least I've been trying to calm myself down at home by doing something creative or journal it out but these outlets have helped me but they haven't helped me figure out what this is all about and why I'm constantly feeling stuck all the time and feeling like I'm never going to figure it out. Its like being in the twilight zone, a hamster wheel, a never ending cycle whatever fancy phrase you want to put it in. Well to tell you the truth I gave up. I gave up looking, I gave up fighting, I gave up searching and I found that letting go, surrending, and letting life take its course, let the leaves fall where their meant to land, to go with the flow and hope that life lands on a dream that will miraculously land on your lap and its suddenly everything you ever wanted but actually its more then that and it became something out of this world as if the universe was listening to your every call…but… sometimes… life doesn't always work out that way. You actually wake up finding out that your running late to your 9-5, that you still didn't reach the amount of $ you hoped to save by the end of the month, that you ruined your diet streak eating 3 🍩 at work might I say absolutely, ridiculously, delicious 🍩 leading you to a weekend of stuffing your face with 🍞 yeah I said buckets and buckets of bread making your week of healthy eating go to waste all because you feel like 💩. Yeah that's what life really feels like when your stuck in bed for 24 hrs trying to figure it all out and you suddenly wake up and realize you cant….its not how life works…so what if you never get your store up, so what if you never create that podcast, or that course or whatever your trying to do…you can always change your mind, start over, try something new, go out there, move, do something, don't stay in bed all day…👇

A post shared by Amana H. (@journalwithamana) on Mar 8, 2020 at 9:51am PDT

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A.H.

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